An Adult Grief and Bereavement Journey: Program Support, Impact Assessment and a PAC Client Testimonial
(From an interview with a Philip Aziz Centre for Hospice Care Grief and Bereavement Coordinator)
Typically, Grief and Bereavement care with Philip Aziz Centre for Hospice Care (PAC) adult clients will include eight to ten sessions, biweekly or monthly. Clients are managed by a lead Grief and Bereavement Practitioner (Coordinator)/Social Worker and a team of qualified hospice volunteers who are specially trained for Grief and Bereavement support.
The Grief Assessment is informal and takes the form of observation, considers what the client is communicating about how they feel they are handling their grief, how they are managing, what needs they still have, what unresolved issues remain, where they may be struggling or experiencing freedom and peace over time through the supported, therapeutic process (from months to a year).
A person might show signs of “increased composure”: something has changed in their language or presence in conversation that indicates new peace, acceptance of loss/death, or some very personal level of resolution. Sometimes, those moments or phases of acceptance are temporary. They may not stay or be permanent, but they are part of the healing and recovery process and progress.
Informally, most Grief and Bereavement practitioners have a general concept of stages or phases that the individual may move through over time as they progress, but it is flexible and varies depending on the individual. Even individuals within the same family with the loss of the same loved one will move very differently through stages of grief and bereavement.
Often, in Grief and Bereavement journeys, families will either come together or they will splinter apart. Having a safe place to express and contain feelings and responses is often helpful as the individual processes emotions with a non-judgmental and skilled therapist listener.
Client Example: “I have accepted my father’s death.”
For some Grief and Bereavement clients, session after session may be filled with tears, guilt and regrets. For example, our Grief and Bereavement Coordinator/Social Worker was working with an adult daughter who, unfortunately, did not have the chance to return home to her country of origin to see her father before he died. She shared that she had experienced months of turmoil and regretted not having been there to say goodbye. The death also created what she described as a rift within the rest of the family. In counselling sessions, she expressed her grief. She had a safe place where she could “pour out to,” and over time developed increased capacity to focus on what she could control, while putting other issues on the back burner. Estranged from her grieving family for many months, in her Grief and Bereavement sessions with our Coordinator, she decided it was important to her to go home for the one-year anniversary of her father’s death. When she returned from this overseas visit, she said: “I have accepted my father’s death.” She had a new peace that was observable, and felt she was ready to discontinue the Grief and Bereavement sessions; she was able to communicate that with agency and peace as well.
Sometimes, the measures of progress through a grief and bereavement journey are how the person answers questions over time, like: “How are you feeling about how far you’ve come? I see you have some peace or acceptance. How do you think you’re handling your grief now?”
Client Testimonial:
“I want to say thank you for the support you gave me during the last year of my grief journey. It took some time for me to send this email. It was always on my mind, but I have been postponing it for a while. It could be because I was worried if I would be able to do justice to translate my appreciation for your work to words.
My grief journey was tough and unbelievable. Your compassion and readiness to give me a space to explore my loss, including my secondary loss, was really helpful for me to walk through the period. I still am grieving but with more strength. I am thankful that you held the space with no judgement and a lot of understanding when I did not have anyone to process my loss with safely.
I thank you and your [Grief and Bereavement] program for the kindness and professionalism in this tough time especially when we don’t have a lot of funding for mental health supports. Your support brought a lot of quality into my life. Thank you for normalizing my guilt and carrying me through the difficult time. I wish your program would be able to reach more people, so they can float and explore their grief in a safe and validating way; and eventually grow with new insights. I am also thankful for the number of grief resources and strategies you share with me. I feel more informed, and it will be helpful for my next steps. You and your program are doing incredible work. I wish you the best and I thank you with my whole heart.”
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