Emily’s Mom Lindsey Pours Out Her Heart on this Anniversary

(Republished with permission and knowing the outpouring of love from our social media community will encourage Lindsey’s heart).

Emily, Emily… Emily Elizabeth Anne. In this photo here, you were in our house in Shanghai. Some people will recognize that familiar Foreign Service furniture. But Emily, seven years ago tonight was the last time I got the privilege of holding you in my arms and caring for you. Then soon after midnight, very early on September 24th, 2019, you slipped from my arms into the arms of God.

Torrents of precious memories have come rushing over me again. I still hear your unmistakable voice, singing and chattering away, brimming with energy and zest for life, startling people by sometimes lapsing into Japanese or Mandarin Chinese which you studied at school. I still see you in the days where you would take off with your long legs and run like the wind, or tighten your fists to show off the muscles in your arms and prove how strong you were. You would try anything and encouraged others to do so as well. You lived your childhood to the full.

Then things suddenly changed. Dramatically. Yet your faith never wavered and no matter what transpired you never lost your capacity for that infamous smile. You still graced us with your infectious laughter and profuse tears. Your mind and spirit and emotions remained intact although speech and mobility and the ability to eat or do anything for yourself anymore was abruptly taken away from you. You showed us that your value and widespread influence in life never depended on any of the things which our culture tends to adulate and for which many simply sell their souls and still come out empty in the end. You effectively taught us many deep lessons without money and without a word, and it would blow you away to see on how many levels your several legacies continue to affect and impact others to this very day.

Whoever imagined you would pick up a brush again in the last two and a half years of your life, for example, leaving us over 400 breathtaking paintings to not only muse over but to profoundly touch our ongoing lives and infuse us with wonder and inspiration? For those who truly have eyes to see and ears to hear, you still bring a distinctly rich sense of awe and hope and possibility.

My whole body still aches with both the terrible missing of you and also the overwhelming gratitude for having the honour of being your Mom. It is still amazing to me as time went on how you loved and trusted me and wanted me to always be near, especially in the darker hours.

We were alone, you and I – yet not completely alone – seven years ago tonight. By then you were 26 years old! I shall never forget how you tried to say something to me from somewhere deep in your throat before you took your last breath… or how a few hours later the sun rose golden all over and around you…

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